The Troublemaker
Okay, good afternoon everyone!
Di tengah-tengah keadaan kelas yang kosong ini aku mencobaproduktif menyalurkan hobiku, padahal sebenernya banyak yang bisa dikerjakan. Melanjutkan ngerjain soal UTS matematika wajib kemarin misalnya, atau lanjutin Tugas Mandiri PKn, atau buat Tugas Mandiri Biologi, atau menyelesaikan PR Agama.
But, I'm a human being indeed. Being lazy is definitely one of our part.It's not an excuse, you know.
This time, titled 'The Troublemaker'. To be honest, I never considered myself as a troublemaker before, but one of my senpai (leave his name, please), actually said that I have always been a troublemaker.
My only reply that time was, "Really?"
Yeah. Really? Did you really-really mean that? As far as I know, I'm a good girl whom always obeyed the rules and laws, well-behaved, never touch drugs or alcohol, pray often, strictly decisive, never miss a homework, acknowledged as a choleric-melancholy personality type, don't hold grudge (usually), and live in peace. My existence in my school is just like a poltergeist; gone. Some teachers remember me as someone who did the best homework/projects on their subjects. But mostly have forgotten about me.
And then here comes the word, "Yes."This is not a wedding ceremony!
HOW COME?! I screamed, alone.
"Maybe you are not a troublemaker, you are just close to the 'conflict-maker'." He fixed his words.
Then I went blank for a moment just to replied with shy giggles in the few seconds later.
Okay, now I will tell you why I'm just as close as the 'conflict-maker'.
1. I often left the LINE group.
Yeah, you will find me a difficult person to please. When I upset about something, or mostly disappointed (for example; being ignored when my heart was going to explode - okay that's too much), I left the group. But this is not the only reason why I left.
Well, maybe I have a small part of tsundere. I have difficulties to express my emotions. I realized that I'm not the only one who have problems. I felt a slight guilt to have myself keep telling my stories. And so, I thought, it would be better if I just quit the group; I can get a hold of myself from just telling them stories. Ridiculous? Probably yes.
And then, if I quit the group, everyone will think. 'there must be a problem here'. The funniest part is, even the upperclassmen help my friends to talk to me. Some of the questions are, "Are you okay?" or "Is there any reason why you're doing this?".
But it really happened when I have a big problem. In the end, I will burst into tears, cry for thirty minutes or more, and telling them the reason with sobs. It is funny when I write it down like this, but in the real scene, it was a really serious one. Life is getting though sometimes and you just want to cry and crying is healthy.
I hate it when someone comfort with, "Well, Zia, the problem in the world is not only yours."
Well, I have my own problems! And I want to be egoist about it. To think about all the problems in the world are too much. Just solved your own problem first, then the world will get better. That's why it's important.
The upperclassmen, or I usually called them 'senpaitachi', think that the perfect analogy for me is a piece of ice. When the room temperature is hot, I melt. When the situation around me is too overwhelming, I will ended up crushing myself. And if the temperature is high in an extreme way, I will evaporated, gone forever. The senpaitachi are afraid of my condition, so they want to create a 'healthy' environment around me and my friends.
But the worst part is; even some small problems can be a big problem in the eyes of senpaitachi.
And the worst-worst part is, my friends agreed with senpaitachi.
WE DON'T DO THE CALM!
I think that's all. I'm not really a troublemaker, but when I do, I am the one who can make the situations upside down. With the feelings, of course. Messing up with everyone feelings, although I prefer to messing up with some physical act. Like knife. Or ropes. Or AK-47 if I have one.
Don't you know?
I have dark sides too. Hahahaha. Hahahahahahahahaha.
Just kidding. I even cannot break the law. I'm a formidable citizen.
Di tengah-tengah keadaan kelas yang kosong ini aku mencoba
But, I'm a human being indeed. Being lazy is definitely one of our part.
This time, titled 'The Troublemaker'. To be honest, I never considered myself as a troublemaker before, but one of my senpai (leave his name, please), actually said that I have always been a troublemaker.
My only reply that time was, "Really?"
Yeah. Really? Did you really-really mean that? As far as I know, I'm a good girl whom always obeyed the rules and laws, well-behaved, never touch drugs or alcohol, pray often, strictly decisive, never miss a homework, acknowledged as a choleric-melancholy personality type, don't hold grudge (usually), and live in peace. My existence in my school is just like a poltergeist; gone. Some teachers remember me as someone who did the best homework/projects on their subjects. But mostly have forgotten about me.
And then here comes the word, "Yes."
HOW COME?! I screamed, alone.
"Maybe you are not a troublemaker, you are just close to the 'conflict-maker'." He fixed his words.
Then I went blank for a moment just to replied with shy giggles in the few seconds later.
Okay, now I will tell you why I'm just as close as the 'conflict-maker'.
1. I often left the LINE group.
Yeah, you will find me a difficult person to please. When I upset about something, or mostly disappointed (for example; being ignored when my heart was going to explode - okay that's too much), I left the group. But this is not the only reason why I left.
Well, maybe I have a small part of tsundere. I have difficulties to express my emotions. I realized that I'm not the only one who have problems. I felt a slight guilt to have myself keep telling my stories. And so, I thought, it would be better if I just quit the group; I can get a hold of myself from just telling them stories. Ridiculous? Probably yes.
And then, if I quit the group, everyone will think. 'there must be a problem here'. The funniest part is, even the upperclassmen help my friends to talk to me. Some of the questions are, "Are you okay?" or "Is there any reason why you're doing this?".
But it really happened when I have a big problem. In the end, I will burst into tears, cry for thirty minutes or more, and telling them the reason with sobs. It is funny when I write it down like this, but in the real scene, it was a really serious one. Life is getting though sometimes and you just want to cry and crying is healthy.
I hate it when someone comfort with, "Well, Zia, the problem in the world is not only yours."
Well, I have my own problems! And I want to be egoist about it. To think about all the problems in the world are too much. Just solved your own problem first, then the world will get better. That's why it's important.
The upperclassmen, or I usually called them 'senpaitachi', think that the perfect analogy for me is a piece of ice. When the room temperature is hot, I melt. When the situation around me is too overwhelming, I will ended up crushing myself. And if the temperature is high in an extreme way, I will evaporated, gone forever. The senpaitachi are afraid of my condition, so they want to create a 'healthy' environment around me and my friends.
But the worst part is; even some small problems can be a big problem in the eyes of senpaitachi.
And the worst-worst part is, my friends agreed with senpaitachi.
I'm a freaking ice cubes
2. Fangirl
I fangirl until I disturb people. Yeah. Some of the words are really freak difficult to understand and all the people around us might have difficulties in hearing. Oh. You know how fangirl works.
I think that's all. I'm not really a troublemaker, but when I do, I am the one who can make the situations upside down. With the feelings, of course. Messing up with everyone feelings, although I prefer to messing up with some physical act. Like knife. Or ropes. Or AK-47 if I have one.
Don't you know?
I have dark sides too. Hahahaha. Hahahahahahahahaha.
Just kidding. I even cannot break the law. I'm a formidable citizen.
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